so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
