if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
