hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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