Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it