I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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