so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring