So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
