Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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