I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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