the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
