3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
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