Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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