Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
