he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am mentally ready for anal.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
