Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We need to get me chipped asap
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
