went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
false alarm, still single
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