you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
