once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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