I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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