Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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