My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
