I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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