I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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