What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
