Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
