And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
