Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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