Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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