And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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