I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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