I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have aggressive nipples.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
