Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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