I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
