You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
do herpes really smell.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
