I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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