I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
