Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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