I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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