return my video game
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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