just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
