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is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish I only lived at night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
