if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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