I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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