even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Found your dick twin last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
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The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're a disaster
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