Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
