I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
