so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
