is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
