Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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