Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
