Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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