xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
