i think my mom watched the whole time
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
