Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
