I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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