I wish my penis had an off switch
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
nutella sex= disaster
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
