it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
