so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
