I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
