So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
