I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
