omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
