At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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