What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
being pregnant is like rehab
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
