I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
